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Confessions of a Hard Heart
This week I was sitting with some people telling “inspiring stories” in their Christian lives. Many of the people around in the room were edified as a woman explained her most intimate moment with God, or as a young man told a story of how God provided for him after he prayed. Typically, I rolled my eyes and kept my mouth shut.
Then I realized, theses people do not have a problem, I do. These people’s faith was not naïve, nor were their stories unbiblical. The problem was that I was unwilling to hear them. It was not that their stories were not powerful, but that my heart was (and likely still is) hard. Here was a real moment to find fellowship with other Christians, and I blew it.
stretching it out
“So teach us to number our days?, that we may get a heart of wisdom.” –Psalm 90:12
This is going to be a little scattered. Bear with me. These thoughts are still sifting out in my brain.
American evangelist Billy Graham gave a fascinating interview to Newsweek in August 2006 about a myriad of personal topics, but a lot of it was reflection on growing older. In particular, he said, “I have a certainty about eternity that is a wonderful thing, and I thank God for giving me that certainty. I do not fear death. I may fear a little bit about the process, but not death itself, because I think the moment that my spirit leaves this body, I will be in the presence of the Lord.”
I found it interesting that he was more at ease with death than with the dying process. While many haven’t articulated it like he has, I bet that resonates with a lot of people.
the allure of separation
It’d be nice to get away and stay away, wouldn’t it?
Definitely. That really sounds sweet right now. Some distance. Getting away. Running away. Why not?
Since the inception of the Christian church, movements within Christianity have advocated, at one time or another, a separation from society as a standing way of life. The corruption is rampant, they’ve basically said, and we must cut ourselves off to save ourselves, our children, our faith.
The “Country Club” Church Is Crap.
Say that ten times fast…

Danielle recently made a comment concerning a post comparing Jack Bauer of the TV Series 24 with Jesus Christ:
And I think there’s a comparison to the church in there. Because although the suspense is pretty cool (as in what will happen here on earth, as well as after we die), it is the human parts of the story that compel people to keep reading/listening/feeling/believing perhaps. And the church has been nothing if not revolutionary in history. Jesus’ story is a prime example.
It instantly reminded me of a couple quotes that generally make me want to pick up sword and shield to charge headlong into this cosmic revolution. This is an axe I gring almost continually. Having not grown up in the church, paradigm for what church should be is not as convoluted by tradition and/or fundamentalism. I am perhaps more able to read how the church is portrayed in scripture without the baggage of moralistic rules and cultural taboos. Of course, I do have other things that cloud my judgment, and there are people who have grown up in the church and are able to see through much of that. But this is something that is particularly close to my heart because of my experiences.
For your reading pleasure, here are two of my favorite quotes Read more »

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