Confessions of a Seminarian

Knowledge, Wretchedness, and Jesus

Some Christians have opposed academic learning because they believe it promotes a spiritual deadness, and promotes arrogance.  As I am surrounded by young men and women here on campus I can testify that this is sometimes true.  However, knowledge in itself cannot be the problem.  After all, knowledge is a godly thing. (Prov. 8:10)

When we simply know things about the Bible, or about God, we tend to use that knowledge to build ourselves up.  One comes to analyze sermons merely academically.  We begin to read the Bible so that we can have more of the “right answers” rather than reading it for spiritual nourishment.  We lose any kind of humility that is talked about so much throughout the very Bible we claim to know.  I have fallen into this before, and I know the utter arrogance one has in that state.

I think a big part of the problem is that we do not have a healthy understanding of our own sinfulness.  I compared myself with other people.  I compared my knowledge to that of other people.  But how you and I compare in knowledge is quiet useless.  I only need compare myself to God and search the Bible for a view of myself.  And when I do that I get a very different picture:

“None is righteous, no, not one;
no one understands;
no one seeks for God.
All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
no one does good,
not even one….
in their paths are ruin and misery,
and the way of peace they have not known.
There is no fear of God before their eyes.” (Romans 3:10-12, 16-18)

When I look at this, I realize my position is not a good one.  According to this I cannot even truly understand God, and I do not pursue God.  I will go and do what I want in defiance of God’s commands for me.  As a result, I am dissatisfied.  I cannot find true rest because I do not naturally desire God.  And look around.  This world is messed up!  War, crime, destruction of the environment- all because of man.  Man is destroying himself and the world around him.  When we accept this view of on man apart from anything else, it lead to one thing- utter despair.  I’m screwed, your screwed, all mankind is screwed, and we can’t do a thing about it.

Pascal notices this difficulty, and writes:

“Knowing God without knowing our own wretchedness makes for pride.

Knowing our own wretchedness without knowing God makes for despair.

Knowing Jesus Christ strikes the balance because he shows us both God and our own wretchedness” (Pensees)

The way in which we have both knowledge of God and appreciation of our sinfulness is in Jesus Christ.  By him we coming to understand God makes us understand our own sinfulness.  But just as we begin to despair, we find that Jesus’ death was the solution to this corruption.  God will redeem, and is redeeming, the world.  After one becomes a Christian one’s understanding of our own wretchedness does not decrease.  Rather it become even more blatant.  I know today better than I ever have before that I am a corrupted individual.  However it does not lead me to despair because I know that Jesus has saved me by grace- a free gift.  With this in mind, how can I be prideful in my knowledge of God?  I was, and am, a corrupt.  I was saved by God’s mercy, “not by works of righteousness, so that no one may boast” (Ephesians 2:9).  Knowledge of God is for the purpose of knowing my Lord- the ruler of my life.

How do we keep from becoming arrogant as we study who God is?  We look at our own filth in comparison to who God is.  When we look at our own filth, how do we keep from utter despair?  We look to the beauty of God in the person of Jesus Christ.

Suggested Reading:

Pascal’s Pensees

Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem