On Doubting My Faith
“Too much to deny and too little to be sure”
(Pascal)
“Faith appears where least expected and falters where it should be thriving”
(Yancey)
The North American church has given in to a sad stance on what it means to believe. It has slid into an all or none fallacy. This means a person either believes without reservation and without doubt, or they cannot be considered a Christian at all. Philip Yancey, author of the book Reaching for the Invisible God, explains that Christians regrettably view doubt as a “skeleton in the closet.” Christians are scared to talk about it, so they lock it up. Thank God such a view of faith is unwarranted by true Christianity.
Some talk about faith as though it was divorced from the brain, but this is not the case. After all, doesn’t the Bible talk about believing with the heart? But the New Testament idea of the heart is very different from ours. There is no ‘head knowledge’ vs. ‘heart knowledge’ distinction in the Bible. The heart encompasses the whole of a person. This means faith involves the mind, emotions, and volition. Furthermore, the Greek New Testament draws no distinction between the words faith and belief. Both are the same word in Greek. To believe is to have faith, and to faith is to believe.
In Yancey’s book there is a chapter titled “Room for Doubt,” and I find great encouragement in it. I frequently wrestle with doubt in my own life. My desire to abandon Christianity in favor of a nihilistic and cynical outlook on life is tempting. The Christian life can be hard and messy, and sometimes I don’t want to deal with it anymore. Yet “faith is dynamic,” as a friend once commented. It ebbs and flows. There are degrees of faith. Jesus sometimes speaks of people’s “little” or “great” faith. For example, Jesus says, “I tell you the truth, I have not found such great faith even in Israel” (Luke 7:9) when a Roman centurion asked Jesus to merely say the word to heal his servant. Faith has a greater than or less than quality to it, not an all or none quality as so many have proposed.
Yancey gives a helpful analogy. He compares faith to a venture he took claiming a mountain during a blizzard. He pressed onward, aware of the danger in thick clouds, possible avalanches (and even hearing them in the distance), and falling. The going was slow and difficult, but well worth it. Yancey explains that likewise faith:
“…involves miscalculations, thrills, and hardships, long periods of waiting and long periods of simply trudging. No matter how thoroughly I prepare, make precautions, and try to eliminate risk, I never succeed. Always there are times of whiteout, when I can see nothing and avalanches roar down around me… When I reach the summit though, nothing in the world compares to that feeling of accomplishment and exaltation” (Yancey)
One of the most profound thought in the Bible on this matter may be found in the gospel of Mark. A man brings his son to Jesus for healing because the disciples were unable to help. The son needs healing, and the man asks Jesus to work a miracle. Jesus instructs the man that all is possible with belief. And the man says, “I believe, help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24).
Again - I BELIEVE HELP MY UNBELIEF- This is the rallying cry of me as a doubter!
He believed Jesus could heal his son, but it was also hard for him to believe. He doubted. Did this man hide his doubt as so many Christians do? No. Did Jesus condemn this man for his doubt? No. Doubt is part of the process of belief, and Christians should support each other through doubt by continuous love, fellowship, and prayer.
-Josh M
Suggested Reading:
Reaching for the Invisible God: What can we Expect to Find? by Philip Yancey
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Josh, this is really really good stuff…
I do not really encounter criticism from my doubt from others, but I often beat myself up and get frustrated when my life does not reflect by belief…. Or rather, I get frustrated when my life reveals my struggle with doubt!
Man… this is good stuff.
josh
i too think this is a good post. there are so many people who want us to accept an all or nothing of their brand of christian doctrine. i think this is problematic, as each issue requires individual attention, and in some areas, i am not sure there is a “right” answer.
but bottom line, even if there is a “right” answer, sometimes its ok for us to rely on God to reveal His Truth to us in His time.
peter
Time Magazine’s article on Mother Teresa’s inner struggles connects with your thoughts on the matter.
God’s grace …
Yes, I skimed that article. It is a shame she felt she could not be open about it. I recall her saying she wore her smile like a mask. The Bible compells us to openess and honesty. If we doubt, we should doubt openly.
In fact, this openess is good because we can doubt in community. When we doubt we should be surrounded by Christian brothers and sisters who will build us up- not by telling us Christian cliches, but by loving us through our times of intense doubt.
Hey, Josh…so I know you wrote this way back in August, but I just started reading your posts now since I wanted to!
As a fellow doubter (seriously…I think I am a chronic questioner…call me the female Thomas), this blog is SO encouraging. I am often afraid to talk about the questions that I struggle with because often Christians don’t want to hear it — even if they don’t say it (which they often do anyway), as a girl, I can read it in their eyes.
I am absolutely going to read that book you recommend sometime soon….and the other one you told me about before….I found it on amazon & need to order it….